Things Black People Hate

Everyone but me hates her. Outside of Clarence Thomas, there has been no more polarizing black political figure then Condoleezza Rice. She is someone who is so at odds with the plight of black people (or maybe humans) that it seems she might be from another planet.

But there is a twisted part of me that is so attracted to this woman that is so utterly ruthless in her goals and her pure ambition.

Condoleezza Rice

Plus, she always pulls out that she was playmates with one of the victims of a civil rights bombing. I bet she was just as bad as a little girl. No one wanted to play with her!

But Condy, can I call you that? I believe we can make a life together and leave it all behind us. “I love you, Condy”. So much that I am in physical pain. One day, One day.

We hate terrorists. As far as I am concerned, I am not part of the Great Satan’s imperialist plan for world domination. A lot of us are worse off than you so leave us out of it!

Terrorists

The Great Satan

As well,I don’t think any of us have a stake in the Golan Heights or the Gaza Strip. And I will be damned if I get caught in a terrorist act. Plus I noticed they would never attack Roxbury (where I am from with the accent and everything), the Boogie Down, Compton or the Swass cause we don’t play that shit.

Besides if a bomb went off in Roxbury, maybe no-one would notice.

We hate Serial Killers and would never be serial killers. When the Police find a serial killer, it will never be a brother or sister.

Jeffrey Dahmer

Charles Manson

Dennis Rader "The BTK Killer"

Don’t trust me just Google: BLACK SERIAL KILLERS. Two things might come up that D.C. Sniper and Wayne Williams.

• We all know Wayne Williams didn’t kill anybody. He was geeky and weird but was no killer.
• D.C. sniper was killing people to cover up the planned murder of his wife, so I can’t count that as serial killing.

We don’t wake up in the morning and say “hmmm… let me just kill someone just to do it and then eat them“. Not our style. I am not saying we have anything against killing a lot of people cause I know there are a bunch of brothers out there with maybe 60-70 murders under their belts, but, you know and I know, it was probably all business and never personal.

The allure of Jerry Seinfeld is lost on my people. We like our comedians loud and making jokes about R. Kelly or Denzel not complaining about socks in the dryer.

You (Jerry) are a multi-millionaire. What do you have to complain about?

I have seen the show a number of times and I can’t remember seeing anyone black on it or even funny. Plus, I am sick of white people saying “IT’S JUST LIKE THAT EPISODE OF SEINFELD, MADISON “. Guess what it wasn’t big with the brothers. I was doing stuff when it was on like hooking up with honeys or drinking gin and juice. The next person that references it might get punched!!

For someone who has sold millions of CD’s and songs, I don’t think anyone black can name one Bruce Springsteen song. He might be a cool average guy, but his music is pretty terrible and it makes my head hurt.

My aunt brought me tickets to his concert because I listen to that “WHITE BOY MUSIC!” even I thought it is too lame. It is difficult to imagine this guy being a hero to the working class when he has been a rock star for over thirty years and is a multi-millionaire.  You never hear Bruce donated $10 million to something or another.

There is usually one black person at his concerts: his saxophone player or the guy working security.